“I think therefore I am”
-Rene Descartes 
While in my head as thoughts race back and forth, up, down and sideways this quote pops up out of nowhere which gets me thinking even more. Thinking is something I constantly do all day, everyday, real things, imaginary things, made up things, things from ten years ago just obsessing and obsessing. I guess that’s just Anxiety disorder for ya lol. Oh yeah I forgot to mention Anxiety is another one of my green satin accessorized ailments, which is really a convoluted way of saying your mind constantly likes to make things up and make you believe they are real.
So…let me get back to the real…..Descartes, french philosopher, basically he was stating that we are humans can not doubt our existence because because an ability to doubt, shows a level of thought (what I say brain activity) proves their is an entity of some sort (humans) able to conduct the thinking process. Alright cool……don’t believe I ever doubted my existence maybe regretted, grieved or disapprove but doubt no. Really what I was thinking, if the act of thinking is what proves who I am, then I must need to worry about believing I am what I think of myself. This brings us right back to one of the major issues of a person with anxiety faces,……………can you think of anything
……………….
yup you guess it,
Thinkiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg
exclamation point !
Now lets see if I take what I think now, I would describe myself as crazy, delusional, unstable, insecure, irrational, disoriented, smart,naive, compassionate, but a smart ass, welcoming, but standoffish, tolerant but elusive and a laundry list of other things that I am to lazy to list. Anyways what I’m trying to say is their is a slight, but large issue with me which pertain to my thoughts, mostly when it comes to myself.
sigh : (
oh what to do. besides taking meds to settle brain activity ……..but I digress. If there is something that I have realized that my thinking, our thinking, has a profound impact on how we function day to day. Now I won’t lie, (well i could but that’s not very nice) that to change one’s thinking can be challenging but it is possible, one thought at a time. I say take what Rene says relish in your own existence, because the alternative is “to not think therefore you are not,”(that’s weird). Realize that we exist and continue to for some reason at the minimum at least one. And since zero has no value I going to go and say one is a good place to start.
Rose (Girl who wears a green ribbon)
My Green Ribbon 
Trust me when I say you’re not alone. In fact I suffer with the symptoms of both anxiety and OCD myself.
In fact, it’s the reason I’m up so early. I’ve been obsessed over a recent mistake I made and it’s literally hunting me in my sleep.
Me myself don’t know how to fake happiness until it’s real. This is something that makes other people around you more comfortable. I don’t really know why who walks around sincerely smiling all day? But, because I don’t I’m labeled as having Resting Bitch Face. Which is not much of a compliment to me. I’ve learned even that is an opportunity. Listen and obsess over what people think of me or love myself flaws and ALL!
Thanks for making this blog. Sometimes I feel like the world is a little backwards. Not that our physical being is less important, but our mental being is just as important.
Example there is this man at my church whose in a wheelchair. He is one of the happiest individual I’ve ever met. Yet, I myself who can walk and use my legs struggle with even faking that kind of happiness.
Especially when I’m blessed to be alive and have so much to be thankful for.
Thanks again because now I know I’m not alone!
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